Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude i'm inner monologue high
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
