wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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