question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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