Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
