the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
