That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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