i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
