what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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