wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
