There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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