I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
