At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
