I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
