Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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