I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
