Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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