Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
