OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Tell her she can't have a vagina
even my farts smell like vagina
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
