Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
