I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
