So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
