Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
