so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
