Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
