Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Randomize
