So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
