Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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