The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
