This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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