The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
