i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
