i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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