Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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