dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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