No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
