You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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