who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
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