its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
