He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
