i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
