bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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