I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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