Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
