Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
