It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
