Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
