So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
