Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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