In the future we'll all be gay
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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