just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
