i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
