People with herpes should wear stickers.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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