If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
