break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
