oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i think im in europe. pls send help
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
