She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
