what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You did what with his pubic hair?
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