not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
